“Everybody cries, and everybody hurts sometimes” sang R.E.M.’s Michael Stipe years ago. It’s true: life slings some heavy-duty pain at everyone eventually.
Twenty years ago, just before Thanksgiving, my father died at the age of 64 after a brief battle with melanoma. All I remember about the 1999 holiday season is that it went by in a kind of foggy haze. Because Taylor and Lucy were young children, for their sakes I pressed on through the Christmas season with a kind of grim determination. But in truth, my heart was broken and the last thing I wanted to do was celebrate. What I do remember is the strange feeling of hearing everywhere—in the TV commercials and music and shopping malls—this relentless voice, urging me to “Come on and get in the Christmas spirit!”
For people who are hurting, Christmas can be the hardest season of all. It’s no coincidence that twelve-step programs welcome record numbers of people in December. Two weeks from tonight, FBC will offer a safe harbor for people who are grieving or who are anxious or overwhelmed or lonely, or who feel sad and can’t even pinpoint why. Our Blue Christmas service is for any of us who need a safe space to feel what we feel while aiming it all at God.
I’ve led or participated in some twenty or so Christmastime services of hope and consolation through the years. While each has been meaningful in its own, unique way, one thing happens nearly every time: Each year, caring deacons, Bible study leaders, staff and/or other volunteers turn out to help, often arriving early to place tissue packets on the pews and set out little votive candles in the narthex. They do this for “the struggling folk” who will show up for the service. These dear people are genuinely glad to offer this ministry to others.
About halfway through the service, though, almost without fail, I'll see volunteers begin to reach for tissue packets of their own. And sure enough, when the invitation is given for people to come and light a candle in memory of someone who has died or in acknowledgment of some other hurt or stress or loss, many of the people in line are the very volunteers who showed up to help “those hurting people.” Why is this? Because it really is true: Everybody cries, and everybody hurts sometimes.
It is a faithful, loving act to come alongside other people who are hurting. And it is a faithful, loving act to offer our own pain into the arms of a trustworthy God. I invite you to join me in doing this together at Blue Christmas on December 18.
For all of us who suffer pain and loss, this promise comes as deep relief:
Do not fear, because I am with you;
don’t be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
I will surely help you,
I will hold you
with my righteous, strong hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
Peace and grace, fellow criers…
